Isn't It Always a Surprise!

Indefinite Hiatus

2008-11-12T05:01:00.001-08:00

I've taken to posting my photographs on my Flickr account rather than this blog lately, due to the editing feature on Flickr giving me the opportunity to display my photos more as I originally intended them. I have not been writing much recently, since I've been more focused on photography, so I will be not updating this site for now. When I begin writing again, I'll begin updating the site more.

Thanks to everyone who has visited--every comment has meant a lot to me and given me more confidence and encouragement. I don't plan to give up this site for good, but I'm going to take a step away for a while and re-direct my energies. Thanks!

Galloping Past January

2008-11-04T05:59:00.001-08:00

On SE Hawthorne in Portland, Oregon. November 2, 2008.

Creepy Cocktails and Poison Pills

2008-10-30T18:29:00.000-07:00

Target in Beaverton, Oregon. 10-28-08.

Swimming In A Fish Bowl

2008-10-26T21:18:00.000-07:00

Seattle Aquarium, Seattle, Washington. 10-23-08.

The Devil Is In the Details

2008-10-26T13:59:00.001-07:00

Cannibals in Portland, Oregon. 10-25-08.

Oh Mary, Give Me Back My Tooth

2008-10-26T13:58:00.001-07:00

Cannibals in Portland, Oregon. 10-25-08.

Oh Jesus Give Me Back My Heart

2008-10-26T13:56:00.000-07:00

Cannibals in Portland, Oregon. 10-25-08. I like how the guitar behind the figure glows like a halo.

Novelties

2008-10-26T13:54:00.001-07:00

Cannibals in Portland, Oregon. 10-25-08. What's eerie about this one is what looks like my face reflected in the glass near the center--it's not.

Bust My Buttons

2008-10-26T13:52:00.000-07:00

Cannibals in Portland, Oregon. 10-25-08.

Waving, Drowning...?

2008-10-26T13:51:00.000-07:00

Cannibals in Portland, Oregon. 10-25-08.

Hanging by Some Strings

2008-10-26T13:49:00.000-07:00

Cannibals in Portland, Oregon. 10-25-08.

Lucy, Daughter of the Devil

2008-10-26T13:47:00.001-07:00

Cannibals shop window in Portland, Oregon. 10-25-08.

2008-10-14T23:25:00.000-07:00

Last one!! Finally

2008-10-14T23:21:00.001-07:00

one more...

2008-10-14T23:06:00.000-07:00

Eight down, two to go...

2008-10-14T23:05:00.001-07:00

This is seven..almost there...

2008-10-14T23:00:00.000-07:00

This makes six, four more to go...

2008-10-14T22:57:00.000-07:00

first chunk of photos for my class tomorrow

Reworked Slightly

2008-10-14T18:16:00.000-07:00

Blue Wall, Red Trees

2008-10-14T18:05:00.001-07:00

In the neighborhood, sometime.

Zombie Apocalypse!!

2008-10-12T02:27:00.000-07:00

Is the gate keeping us out...or keeping them in? JB, OR. 10-10-08.

Flaming Clouds

2008-10-11T21:16:00.000-07:00

Haight Street, SF. 11-07.

...And More

2008-10-11T19:02:00.000-07:00

JB, OR. 10-10-08.

All Hallow's Carousel

2008-10-11T18:46:00.000-07:00

JB, OR. Oct 10, 2008.

Fear Of Being Locked In At Jantzen Beach

2008-10-11T18:39:00.001-07:00

JB, OR. October 10, 2008.

Welcome to Hades

2008-10-11T17:03:00.000-07:00

Jantzen Beach kinda sucks, OR. October 10, 2008.

Alert to Menace

2008-10-02T02:40:00.000-07:00

The farther you are away from this picture, the better it looks. I wasn't thrilled with this, but I haven't posted for a while, so here you go.:)

NOTICE, My Brothers and Sisters!!

2008-09-18T19:41:00.000-07:00

I noticed the subject of this blog was starting to veer a little too wildly from what I originally intended, so in light of that, I have a brand new blog to post projects with friends and my friends' work and such. It's called "Not Waiting for Wind to Fly a Kite" and it is here and it is shimmery-shiny-glorious and waiting for our little fingerprints to get all over it.

This blog will continue too, of course, but there'll be that one TOO, with more people and more posts, so it's like...over ten times the fun. That's just MATHEMATICS.

Art Party!

2008-09-18T17:00:00.001-07:00

Snail I made at our art party last night, for my friend Charlie. Also, Trisha working wonders with sculpey. Also, CANDY CORN!!

With Sundae Spoons

2008-09-16T23:54:00.000-07:00

Margarita Margarita come my dear, come, come, there is hope for you yet. Come into the light, come into science and daydreams and pots that call kettles black and MEAN it. Come into me, come into love, come into infinity. Come into cake and tea and festoons and ribbons. Come into salsa music and cocaine and parties that last 'til dawn. Come into rapture.

I miss you oh my Margarita, the way your hair twirls black and flimsy 'round your ears, the way the sky seems to look down at you questioningly, trying to guess what you are. I wonder where you are, whether you're floating on icebergs made of grape juice, floating on clouds made of tinsel and cellophane, floating on waves made of oxygen and fish, quick as queens, fast as furies. Digging in mines for buttons, for monocles, for the perfect note to finish that SONG. Where?

When you come back, all will be roses, all will be birds and cotton candy and beautiful. We will practice our waltzes, we will keep time on the table, we will eat time with a fork and a knife and a sundae spoon. Ice cream deserves whipped topping, you deserve a thousand kisses and a gift wrapped in solid gold paper. You deserve old-fashioned radios, water from Tahiti, wine from Belgrade or Serbia. I do not deserve you.

Margarita, Kitten, Lion, Master of all, Master of me. Put yourself in an envelope, par avion, come to me.

********

Part of stream of consciousness project, written in about six minutes, September 16 2008. Fun!:)

Headless, Stillness

2008-09-16T23:51:00.000-07:00

There was no wind that night--everything was still like water, like flat plates, like the moon. There was, however, a headless apocalyptic Fury piloting through the sky, and he was angry. Angry at the stillness, angry at the lack of wind. Angry at the lack of Apocalypse. Where he got his horse, I will never know. Where he lost his head, I can't say. He won't tell you. But it's gone, and there is nothing to replace it. Only the empty night sky shining through where head once was, where head now will never be. And that is a Loss, but it is what it is, and I won't say anymore about it.

What he was up to that night is clearer. He was hoping to rain fire and brimstone all upon the earth from above in the clouds. But it was hopeless~every time he called forth flames, they extinguished before he had finished his command. Time and time again he tried and he was thwarted, and his frustration rang out in cataclysmic calls through the stillness of the night. He tried to force volcanoes to erupt, but they declined. He tried to divert a fiery comet onto a direct collision course with earth, but he failed. Everything he longed and hoped to do was futile. Why?

There was no one protecting the earth. There is no forcefield, no angel standing above us to counteract everything that comes to harm the world. He failed purely because he was too weak-willed, at his heart. His intent was not pure. He wavered; he waffled. He knew, in the back of his mind, in his heart of hearts, that the planet that had always frustrated and insulted him, the planet that had laughed at him and called him names and refused to play with him, was also a planet with delicious pancakes and bunny rabbits and the color green. Though his conscious mind was ready to destroy us all, his subconscious mourned the potential loss of warm maple syrup and soft paws against his cheek. Of verdant fields and lights that say "Go," And so, without pure intent, his most long-held plans were foiled.

Which goes to show us: If you want to destroy the world, you better damn well mean it.

********

Stream of consciousness project, written in ten minutes today, September 16, 2008. Fun!

Two of Us

2008-09-16T05:16:00.000-07:00

Bill and Tedd's excellent adventure, September 2008.

The Hopelessness of Working at the Bottle Return

2008-09-16T05:13:00.000-07:00

Tedd, contemplating his reality, September 2008.

This Ride Will Blow Your Mind

2008-09-16T05:11:00.000-07:00

Florida, August 2008.

Tea for Two, Two for Tea

2008-09-16T04:08:00.000-07:00

Teacups at Disneyland, trip with Olga, 2006.

Over the River and Through the Woods to Megan's House We Go

2008-09-14T02:06:00.000-07:00

I-5 to Corvallis, Oregon. Sept. 13 2008. Ahmad buckled into the backseat. Gotta keep him safe.

Wistful for Wisteria

2008-09-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

Wisteria blossom my mom gave me when I was visiting, placed in a dogwood tree outside her house. Wisteria is one of my favorite flowers and I miss it!

Leopard or Cheetah?

2008-09-02T22:19:00.000-07:00

Carousel, Florida, August 2008.

The Gathering Storm

2008-08-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

Paynes Prairie in Gainesville, Florida, as tropical storm Fay approaches. August 2008.

The Mad Hatter and the Beanstalk

2008-08-28T22:00:00.000-07:00

Brooksville, Florida. August 2008.

Little Undead Riding Hood

2008-08-28T10:14:00.000-07:00

Brooksville, Florida. August 2008.

The Un-BEAR-able Lightness of Carousels

2008-08-28T10:12:00.001-07:00

Silver Springs, Florida. August 2008.

Santa's Little Workshop of Horrors

2008-08-27T21:42:00.000-07:00

Taken at the Christmas House in Brooksville, Florida. August 2008.

Let's Beat These Blues

2008-08-27T14:34:00.000-07:00

Images taken at Silver Springs, Florida. August 2008.

Needle in the Hay

2008-08-14T23:43:00.001-07:00

Haystack Rock, Cannon Beach, OR. There will be more of these later.

Festooned with Red Caterpillars

2008-08-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

I mean a LOT of walks.

Rainbow Whirligigs

2008-08-03T18:05:00.000-07:00

Downtown Portland. I go for a lot of walks.

He's a Little Dynamo

2008-08-02T10:21:00.000-07:00

Last sunday, downtown Portland.

Lazy Sunday

2008-07-30T15:00:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, you share a wry observation and an ice cream with the fire hydrant.

El Dia de los Muertos

2008-07-20T05:31:00.000-07:00

Day of the Dead parade, Mission District, San Francisco, 2006.

The Purple Testament

2008-07-17T04:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I take pictures of my TV. This is from a set I took during an episode of The Twilight Zone called "The Purple Testament."

First You Fall in Love, and then..Food, Fun, and Fabulous Prizes! (Bring Your Dog!)

2008-07-16T04:29:00.000-07:00

Montage of sidewalk chalk messages in my neighborhood, NW Portland.

Behind the Green Door

2008-07-14T04:22:00.000-07:00

Matisse restaurant, downtown Portland.

A Midnight Gathering of Paper Lanterns

2008-07-10T01:11:00.001-07:00

Nightly walk, NW 23rd Portland, store window.

Panda Surprise!

2008-07-06T03:24:00.000-07:00

Disturbing pandas, somewhere in the dank recesses of the Goodwill on Burnside, Portland.

Miss Aurora Borealis

2008-07-03T03:20:00.000-07:00

Here's the beginning of a poem I'm working on, so it's definitely "to be continued"...the meter is slightly off in one of the lines so let me know if you find it jarring, and I'll work on the next segment.:)

********

Miss Aurora Borealis

came careening from the palace

while her best friend, Pretty Alice

followed gingerly behind

She was late to catch the night-ship

(which would sail out at a fast clip)

for the Polar Light Express Trip

Where she'd have a chance to shine.

Dressed in jackets made of fish fur

(Pretty Alice knitted for her),

and with a flask of cherry liqueur

she'd found hidden 'neath the sink,

She ran rushing toward the oarsmen,

And told them to stall the captain

She and her handmaid would hasten

(though they stopped to have a drink).

Haven't Been Outside For Days

2008-07-03T03:12:00.001-07:00

...so I took a picture of what was around. Fortunately, that happened to be the boy I love to take pictures of. :)

Strawberries and Shadows

2008-06-29T19:05:00.000-07:00

Some art gallery, San Diego, June 2008

Pearl

2008-06-29T04:43:00.000-07:00

"Pearl"

When daylight ebbs, my thoughts collect

with no clear thread that I detect

they try to show me what's correct

(but I lay low, and don't suspect).

I wouldn't talk when I was small,

But thoughts stormed through me, like a squall

and chased my parents down the hall.

(I wonder if they heard at all).

And now, I still don't like to speak.

my questions few, answers oblique

contribute to my strange mystique

(a very lonely, strange technique).

********

(Written about 5 minutes ago in a sleepy stupor:))

Waggling with the Wii

2008-06-27T03:29:00.000-07:00

This one needs an explanation--I was trying to think of subject matter for my poem to post tonight, and my boyfriend was playing with his Nintendo Wii in the background, which involves a lot of flailing around. I always call it "waggling" when he plays, so he suggested I write a poem about him playing with his Wii (I know, great punnage abounds in THAT sentence). So I wrote this one in about three minutes, and I really think it should count as my offering for today. :)

(He wants you all to know that he loves it, and he wants it put on his tombstone).

********

Tedd waggles;

Flopping his arms helplessly,

like birds

like fish

like someone dying

Tedd waggles;

pixelated opponents tremble

pixelated opponents fall

pixelated opponents

are defeated.

Tedd waggles;

the living room is afire

with false applause

with artificial blows

with the silent whisper

of this

Modern Age.

And There's a Creepy Doll

2008-06-26T04:08:00.000-07:00

"And there's the creepy doll
That always follows you
It's got a ruined eye
That's always open

And there's a creepy doll
That always follows you
It's got a pretty mouth
To swallow you whole!"

~Jonathan Coulton, "Creepy Doll"

Back to posting as usual starting friday, poems and all. It was easier to keep up on the photos than the poems while my mom was visiting, so sorry it's been a bit lopsided!

ALSO! I added a link to my friend Brian's page, where he's reading one book a week. Apparently he's been doing this for a couple of months now, and I had no idea? So, there's that to check out.:)

Bleeding Hearts

2008-06-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

My grandma's favorite flower, taken on a walk with my mom June 24, 2008 in NW Portland.

Woman vs. Machine

2008-06-24T03:51:00.000-07:00

Machine wins, every time.

My computer is being finicky and refusing me even its usual begrudging access, so I'm using my boyfriend's computer right now. Which only has broadband, which is paaainfully slow. And of course I don't have access to the photos I just took, since I put them on my computer yesterday.

Yeah, I know.

So hopefully I'll get Tedd's computer hooked up to the actual internet connection in our home tomorrow, and take more photos to upload, and not get so frustrated with having to wait long laborious minutes to load each page. Just be patient with me.:)

Little Pig, Little Pig, Let Me In!

2008-06-21T17:58:00.000-07:00

Bizarre-O Easter decoration, somewhere in NW Portland.

Antici....

2008-06-21T17:50:00.001-07:00

pation.:)

Still with the new-to-you stuff, as my mommy's here and I'm wanting to spend all my time with her.:) So here's another one from a couple of years ago, until I have time to write again...

********

Anticipation

I love you,
Or rather I could love you
If once, through all the banter
All the silly innuendo,
The hours and hours of airy flirtation,
Where we guard ourselves like frightened animals
Afraid to come too close...

If once, you would surprise me
You would break the pattern,
One brave goose
Veering from its chevron across the sky
And finally, submitting to the draw of exploration,
Reach for my hand, inhale the scent of fingertips,
Lay kisses light as powder in my palm.

Talk is not cheap. It has its place
Among the children and the intellectuals.
They must constantly converse upon their fairy tales, to
Keep them alive.

But I am of a simpler sort.
My tongue longs to be still
My eyes long to rest a moment,
And break their habit of coy glances.

I should seize you by the throat, I should
Call down thunder,
I should wave you through the intersection, so you know to
Move forward...

But my heart is still and silent as a pond
Waiting for a stone.

Open Sesame

2008-06-20T01:00:00.000-07:00

My mom is visiting for the week, and today is the 4-year anniversary of my dad's death, so I'm not sure how fastidious I'm going to be about posting new stuff this week. So I'll be ransacking my old photo albums and poems for new-to-you postables, and leave you with a photo from 826 Valencia, San Francisco, to ponder over your cereal.:)

The Endless Violence!

2008-06-18T22:55:00.000-07:00

This is just an extra photo from a couple of years ago that I took on the ever-changing and ever-fabulous Clarion Street in San Francisco. I'm going to post a current photo later today, but I was tweaking this one earlier and wanted to put it up.

When men with beards beg you to stop the violence, you better shut up and listen.

I Want Flopsy, Though I've Been Known to Settle for Mopsy

2008-06-18T22:41:00.001-07:00

This is actually a poem from a couple of years ago, but gimme a break, I'm sleepy.:)

********

I want to possess you.
Keep you, sweet,
like cardamom and honey in a dark lacquered bowl.
Own every pure inch of you,
Know you are like an exhausted swimmer--
you've come too far into me,
and you can't make it back to shore.
I want your every move and thought recorded by me
In small, detailed writing, locked up
And hidden from all other prying eyes.

I want you to be a secret from me.
When I scale your walls they should be infinite,
unceasing.
Your soul like a koan,
Your heart a riddle.
When I throw a stone into your well
I want no answering echo, only depths.
I want to wander the forest of you,
growling and pacing with frustration,
My jaws slavering with hunger never sated.

I look at your face, with tenderness,
Your cheek stained always that blushing red,
As if a lover's lips have permanently marked the vibrant skin.
But your eyes are really children's books
I have imagined to be the deepest works of literature,
Your mind a one-way street I have built into the maziest of labyrinths.
You are the canvas I paint all of my desires upon,
The simple snack I have made into a truffled caviared feast,
The golden idol I have built from my own frustrations.
You are my worst humiliation, my most crushing defeat.

Starry Starry Night

2008-06-17T22:54:00.000-07:00

Every winter on the streets of Portland, if you time it just right, you will find polar bears cavorting under the stars. Be careful.

Up, Up and Away

2008-06-16T17:48:00.000-07:00

Somewhere in Portland, around sunset-time.

Villanelle for Valerie

2008-06-16T15:58:00.000-07:00

"Oh comely
I will be with you when you lose your breath
Chasing the only meaningful memory you thought you had left."

--Neutral Milk Hotel, "Oh, Comely"

Villanelle for Valerie

We made our way through the fairgrounds
Sun scorching sphinxes on our skin.
We wore golden crowns, golden crowns.

We browsed the stands, like tiny towns
You practiced Spanish with the men.
We made our way through the fairgrounds.

You bought me beads; you bought us rounds
Of beer that drank like bathtub gin.
We wore golden crowns, golden crowns.

The sun sank low; we heard the sounds
Of boys playing "Oh, Comely." Then
We made our way through the fairgrounds.

And now, as dusk comes settling down,
I can't forfeit what might have been.
(We wore golden crowns, golden crowns!)

For we were young once, and knew no bounds.
We broke hearts, lived forcefully, and then--
We made our way through the fairgrounds.
We wore golden crowns, golden crowns
Made of paper.

Peppermint Dissolving Deep in Her Cheek

2008-06-16T04:55:00.000-07:00

picture me, softly
I came to you mostly
with whiskers of filament
tying my hands.

now here i am, ghostly,
god-heaven-and-hostly
with kisses of peppermint,
midnight demands.

but think of me, gently
your patience is kindly
sweeping up the tenement
buried in sand

until we are, lightly
covered almost nightly
with nothing but firmament.
That's how it began.